Monday, January 28, 2008
Overheard: Third Party Edition
Last night a fun table of four I was waiting on shared this story with me, and I thought it was worth sharing with you. One of the men had a friend who was so picky when he ate out that he actually ordered one of his two eggs to be sunny-side-up and the other to be over-easy. Then, when the food came out, he told the server, "This is all wrong. I wanted that egg sunny-side-up and that one over-easy" - and was serious! Wow. That guy is in for a difficult life. And I pity his wife, if he has one, because I can only imagine him saying things like, "This is all wrong. I want the navy socks on the left side of the drawer and the black ones on the right!"
Thursday, January 10, 2008
What?!?
Just a little story to follow up on the "Overheard" post, which illustrates that sometimes people will say the oddest things to my face - maybe again because they'll never see me again or possibly because they think I am some kind of realistic-looking robot that has no filter for insanity. I swear that this is true.
I was clearing off plates at a table of four when the butter knife accidentally slipped onto this older, cowboy-looking man's lap. Mind you, he did have a napkin on his lap, so it didn't touch him at all, plus it fell fairly slowly. His comment when I apologized? "At least you didn't cut off my penis." Are you kidding me? It was a butter knife! The three other people at the table were all kind of doing that nervous laugh people do when extremely uncomfortable, and I was - for once - at a complete loss for words. I think I said, "Good thing it wasn't a steak knife," but don't quote me on that. What kind of a person thinks that's an appropriate thing to say when out to dinner at a nice restaurant, much less to someone he doesn't even know? I wouldn't have been as surprised if this had happened at the pub where I used to work - say, at around 1:00 in the morning after some frat guy had had three too many Jager Bombs - but this was unexpected to say the least.
I guess waiting tables is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. I like chocolate enough not to mind a few coconut duds just as I like waiting tables enough to get over a few cuckoo customers.
I was clearing off plates at a table of four when the butter knife accidentally slipped onto this older, cowboy-looking man's lap. Mind you, he did have a napkin on his lap, so it didn't touch him at all, plus it fell fairly slowly. His comment when I apologized? "At least you didn't cut off my penis." Are you kidding me? It was a butter knife! The three other people at the table were all kind of doing that nervous laugh people do when extremely uncomfortable, and I was - for once - at a complete loss for words. I think I said, "Good thing it wasn't a steak knife," but don't quote me on that. What kind of a person thinks that's an appropriate thing to say when out to dinner at a nice restaurant, much less to someone he doesn't even know? I wouldn't have been as surprised if this had happened at the pub where I used to work - say, at around 1:00 in the morning after some frat guy had had three too many Jager Bombs - but this was unexpected to say the least.
I guess waiting tables is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. I like chocolate enough not to mind a few coconut duds just as I like waiting tables enough to get over a few cuckoo customers.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Overheard
One entertaining part about being a server is being able to be privy to the lives and conversations of all types of people from all walks of life. Often, I walk up to the table just in time to hear a phrase or sentence that, while it might be hilarious out of context, definitely makes me wonder what the topic of conversation was that inspired it. I've witnessed awkward first dates, tense "relationship talks", families that don't seem to belong together, tough guys having real moments, women ignoring their dinner companions in favor of their cell phones, business men and women who talk shop incessantly, teenage girl gossip - from both teenage girls and much older women, and plenty of romantic hook-ups and rejections. For whatever reason - most likely the fact that they will probably never see me again - people don't usually feel the need to keep their lives a secret from me. I mean, who am I going to tell? (I'll be honest - if I hear something funny enough I may tell a friend or a coworker, but still, it's nobody the person in question knows, so no harm done.) I've got to say that this is one thing that makes going to work worthwhile - I just may hear the funniest/weirdest/creepiest/cutest thing I've heard all week, and get paid for it!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
What I'm Having for Dinner
Just a short comment on the misconception that servers eat the fabulous food they serve - for free. Not the case. Most places I've worked charge you half price for all menu items, and some restrict you to the less-complicated or less expensive items on the menu (this means no lamb shanks or lobster risotto). Still others - like the one where I'm employed now - believe in the concept of "family meal." This involves the cooks/chefs throwing something together for the staff to eat family-style, either before or after the shift. It can be a beautiful thing, as it creates a feeling of community and usually tastes pretty good too. However, if the family meal is something you don't personally care for, or you miss the window of opportunity to grab some before the rest of the vultures get to it, you're out of luck. Also, the family meal doesn't appear every shift, as it is completely up to the kitchen staff whether someone feels like making something. So if you ask me, while looking over the menu,"Well, what are you having for dinner?" , the answer is that I really have no idea. It could be some pasta with chicken, some rice and veggies, or a bowl of cereal when I get home after 11:00. Not as glamorous as it might appear - but then, things rarely are.
p.s. Nobody eats as ravenously as a bunch of servers and bartenders - nobody. The word "vulture" is not an exaggeration. You have to get your food and get out before you get stabbed by someone else's greedy fork.
p.s. Nobody eats as ravenously as a bunch of servers and bartenders - nobody. The word "vulture" is not an exaggeration. You have to get your food and get out before you get stabbed by someone else's greedy fork.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tipping is not a city in China
Ok, this is not going to be some kind of a bitter diatribe against particular poor tippers, because I am definitely a "glass is half-full" kind of a person, and I choose not to dwell on those individuals. I know that each bad tip will likely be followed up by a decent or good tip from someone else, and it's an emotional roller coaster if I let each tip affect how I feel. That being said, I have a few pet peeves with regard to tipping in general:
- Loose change. I don't mind the occasional quarter or two - I do have laundry to do, after all. However, there is nothing I do that requires the use of that random pile of small change you just stacked inside the book with your bill. Not only is it annoying to open a book and be bombarded by a stack of nickels and pennies, but I then have to carry them around in my apron for the rest of the night, so I sound like a homeless person rattling a donation cup. Seriously, whether or not the change accompanies an already decent tip, I would much rather do without the extra 47 cents. So save it for your kids' allowance, the tooth fairy, bus fare, or whatever.
- The "generous" customer who offers to pay for the whole group, then doesn't tip well. The other guests leave feeling like they've been taken care of while unbeknownst to everyone but the one who paid, the server has not. This often occurs when an elderly person treats his or her family - no hard feelings towards the elderly, but they often have outdated ideas when it comes to tipping, and it wouldn't be wrong for those being treated to offer to cover the tip in order to ensure its appropriateness. (To cite one example, I recently served a very nice family who was treated to a dinner of around $210 by their grandmother, who tipped me $20. I highly doubt that the other people at the table would have been pleased with this.)
- The customer who offers to put the whole tab on his/her card and collects cash from the group, then tips a smaller percentage than the cash-givers, resulting in a near profit for him or herself. This isn't just unlucky for the server, who would have received a better tip if each person just paid a portion of the tab, but is also highly disrespectful to the customer's friends.
- People that tip less when their bill includes a bottle of wine. I understand that it may seem like the server doesn't deserve 20% of the price of the bottle simply for opening it, but we are taxed on the entire bill regardless of what it includes. Yes, it's cheaper to buy wine at the store and drink it at home, but it's part of the experience when you eat out and should be treated as such.
- People that mention the tip constantly during dinner, as in "Your tip just went up" or "There goes your tip". It's a more enjoyable time for everyone if the tip goes unmentioned, so I am allowed to be pleasant to you just to be pleasant rather than in some kind of ploy to increase my tip and not meant to feel nervous if I forget something.
- Calculations that take an unnecessary amount of time. Just round up - to make sure you cover the tax - and you'll be fine. If you have a group of friends with whom you dine out on a regular basis, agree to split the bill evenly when you go out just to save yourself some headaches. Sure, sometimes you'll end up helping to cover your neighbor's more expensive entree, but next time it will be your entree that's more expensive. Life is too short to worry about a dollar here or there - eating out is supposed to be fun, not like algebra class.
And that's it for now. Thanks to those of you that tip well and fairly, as it does make a difference. Often more than a 20% difference.
- Loose change. I don't mind the occasional quarter or two - I do have laundry to do, after all. However, there is nothing I do that requires the use of that random pile of small change you just stacked inside the book with your bill. Not only is it annoying to open a book and be bombarded by a stack of nickels and pennies, but I then have to carry them around in my apron for the rest of the night, so I sound like a homeless person rattling a donation cup. Seriously, whether or not the change accompanies an already decent tip, I would much rather do without the extra 47 cents. So save it for your kids' allowance, the tooth fairy, bus fare, or whatever.
- The "generous" customer who offers to pay for the whole group, then doesn't tip well. The other guests leave feeling like they've been taken care of while unbeknownst to everyone but the one who paid, the server has not. This often occurs when an elderly person treats his or her family - no hard feelings towards the elderly, but they often have outdated ideas when it comes to tipping, and it wouldn't be wrong for those being treated to offer to cover the tip in order to ensure its appropriateness. (To cite one example, I recently served a very nice family who was treated to a dinner of around $210 by their grandmother, who tipped me $20. I highly doubt that the other people at the table would have been pleased with this.)
- The customer who offers to put the whole tab on his/her card and collects cash from the group, then tips a smaller percentage than the cash-givers, resulting in a near profit for him or herself. This isn't just unlucky for the server, who would have received a better tip if each person just paid a portion of the tab, but is also highly disrespectful to the customer's friends.
- People that tip less when their bill includes a bottle of wine. I understand that it may seem like the server doesn't deserve 20% of the price of the bottle simply for opening it, but we are taxed on the entire bill regardless of what it includes. Yes, it's cheaper to buy wine at the store and drink it at home, but it's part of the experience when you eat out and should be treated as such.
- People that mention the tip constantly during dinner, as in "Your tip just went up" or "There goes your tip". It's a more enjoyable time for everyone if the tip goes unmentioned, so I am allowed to be pleasant to you just to be pleasant rather than in some kind of ploy to increase my tip and not meant to feel nervous if I forget something.
- Calculations that take an unnecessary amount of time. Just round up - to make sure you cover the tax - and you'll be fine. If you have a group of friends with whom you dine out on a regular basis, agree to split the bill evenly when you go out just to save yourself some headaches. Sure, sometimes you'll end up helping to cover your neighbor's more expensive entree, but next time it will be your entree that's more expensive. Life is too short to worry about a dollar here or there - eating out is supposed to be fun, not like algebra class.
And that's it for now. Thanks to those of you that tip well and fairly, as it does make a difference. Often more than a 20% difference.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Aprons Through the Years: A Retrospective
I was thinking yesterday about all the various jobs I've had over the years - a thought process invoked by the presence of my first boss in my current place of employment - and I realized almost every one of them has involved some sort of apron.
The list, to date, is as follows:
*Over-the-head white apron
*Over-the-head maroon apron
*Short black apron
*Short navy apron
*Long white apron
*Short black apron
*Over-the-head black apron
*Long black apron
Of these, the worst was most definitely the over-the-head maroon one, especially as it included a voluminous white smock to be worn underneath. I don't really have a favorite, although I think the long black one is the most stylish yet easiest to keep clean. For better or worse, aprons seem to follow me throughout my life - or do I love aprons so much that I seek out jobs that will allow me to wear them? Not likely, but I do appreciate how they hold my pens and my lip balm, help to organize my tips and credit card slips, give me pockets for those rare moments of standing around and identify me as "someone who works here." Better than a silly hat or a key card any day!
The list, to date, is as follows:
*Over-the-head white apron
*Over-the-head maroon apron
*Short black apron
*Short navy apron
*Long white apron
*Short black apron
*Over-the-head black apron
*Long black apron
Of these, the worst was most definitely the over-the-head maroon one, especially as it included a voluminous white smock to be worn underneath. I don't really have a favorite, although I think the long black one is the most stylish yet easiest to keep clean. For better or worse, aprons seem to follow me throughout my life - or do I love aprons so much that I seek out jobs that will allow me to wear them? Not likely, but I do appreciate how they hold my pens and my lip balm, help to organize my tips and credit card slips, give me pockets for those rare moments of standing around and identify me as "someone who works here." Better than a silly hat or a key card any day!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Why I Don't Have a "Real Job"
When I was in high school, before the start of my restaurant career of sorts, I imagined that I would someday have what my friends and I referred to as "a real job." This "real job" would probably include some type of business attire, meeting people for lunch, and having free weekends, and would definitely require at least one college degree, if not an additional internship.
Now, ten years later, I would like to make it clear that I do in fact have one, regardless of the no-degree-required aspect of the restaurant industry. I may not work from 9 to 5, but I do have a regular schedule. One which requires me to be on my feet for the entire shift, which can last anywhere from six hours to nine hours (or, in the case of my last job, eleven hours!) with no break in the action - not to sit down and certainly not to eat. It can be argued that this kind of schedule is more difficult than the "real jobs" which involve sitting on one's butt in a cubicle typing all day, at least physically. I don't own any business attire, but I can assure you that I do own quite a lot of black pants and shirts, along with various aprons I have collected along the way. I can occasionally meet people for lunch now that I only serve during dinner, but this has not always been the case. As far as free weekends go...well, that's when the people with "real jobs" like to go out, so that's when I'm working. I myself go out on odd nights like Monday and Wednesday, but the lighter crowds on those nights suit me just fine.
While this job may not be for everyone, it is perfect for me. I love working with energetic, creative people, I love being close to great food and wine, I love the often frenzied pace of a busy night, I love interacting with new people every time I work, and I'm a night owl so the hours work for me. And, to be honest, I make pretty decent money, too. For the record, I recently had a "real job"; one with a manager title and "regular" hours, and I worked more hours yet made half as much money than the restaurant job I had before that.
So the next time you hear someone say, "When is [fill in the blank with a server you know] going to get a real job?", ask them what they think that means. Ask them if they love as many things about their job as I do. Whatever you do, don't ask the server that question to his or her face, as he or she will most likely be insulted. And you don't want to insult someone with access to your dinner.
Now, ten years later, I would like to make it clear that I do in fact have one, regardless of the no-degree-required aspect of the restaurant industry. I may not work from 9 to 5, but I do have a regular schedule. One which requires me to be on my feet for the entire shift, which can last anywhere from six hours to nine hours (or, in the case of my last job, eleven hours!) with no break in the action - not to sit down and certainly not to eat. It can be argued that this kind of schedule is more difficult than the "real jobs" which involve sitting on one's butt in a cubicle typing all day, at least physically. I don't own any business attire, but I can assure you that I do own quite a lot of black pants and shirts, along with various aprons I have collected along the way. I can occasionally meet people for lunch now that I only serve during dinner, but this has not always been the case. As far as free weekends go...well, that's when the people with "real jobs" like to go out, so that's when I'm working. I myself go out on odd nights like Monday and Wednesday, but the lighter crowds on those nights suit me just fine.
While this job may not be for everyone, it is perfect for me. I love working with energetic, creative people, I love being close to great food and wine, I love the often frenzied pace of a busy night, I love interacting with new people every time I work, and I'm a night owl so the hours work for me. And, to be honest, I make pretty decent money, too. For the record, I recently had a "real job"; one with a manager title and "regular" hours, and I worked more hours yet made half as much money than the restaurant job I had before that.
So the next time you hear someone say, "When is [fill in the blank with a server you know] going to get a real job?", ask them what they think that means. Ask them if they love as many things about their job as I do. Whatever you do, don't ask the server that question to his or her face, as he or she will most likely be insulted. And you don't want to insult someone with access to your dinner.
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